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Life With Father   

I’m sure you have been to someone’s house that has a dog that barks. When you first arrive the dog will bark bark bark bark bark bark until its master says “No!” and then the dog goes over and lies down or whatever.    My father and his wife, Merry, had two vicious dogs, a smelly mutt that was fat called Velvet and a Lhasa Apso thing named Lucky. You could not tell Lucky’s ass from its front really, except that the front end bit. These dogs of Dad’s barked not only when I arrived, but continuously the whole time I was visiting.

 “rrrah rarrah rah rrrahh rahh” the dogs would snarl.

“Nooo Lucky Boy, no Velvet,” my dad would say in a soothing tone that the dogs read as “Keep Barking”

“rrrah rarrah rah rrrahh rahh”

Needless to say my visits grew ever shorter and are now limited mostly to telephone conversations, so perhaps the dogs served t heir purpose. Lucky eventually grew old, deaf and blind, its fur a matted mess infested with fleas.

Dad put little pieces of cardboard all around the living room so that Lucky would not bump himself on the furniture. He was still dangerous though and could inflict a savage bite. Velvet was no better; she also bit and continuously issued odorous flatulence. Poor Lucky suffered a stroke. (I guess his name “Lucky” was not very fitting.)  Dad, who is a doctor, took the dog to the vet. The vet sadly told Dad that poor old Lucky’s time had come. The stroke had paralyzed the dog from the waste down, or the middle back, I guess. But my father could not bear to let Lucky go. He kept the dog alive for another five years. He had to take the dog out to the yard and actually lift its leg for the poor animal to pee. The barking stopped but when ever I called dad on the phone I could hear Lucky’s pitiful wail in the background:

“rooough….rooough”.

“Dad, why don’t you put him to sleep?” I would ask.

“He’s happy, Gar”

 “He’s brain dead, Dad!” It was not until my dad discovered a family of maggots living in the sheath of Lucky’s penis that my father finally saw that it was time to part with his beloved pet. I was thankful that he did not decide to raise the maggots as pets also. 

            I phoned my dad one night at eight but he was sleeping.

“You’re already asleep?” I asked.

 “I gotta get up at 4” he told me.

“Why?”

“I have to walk Velvet before anyone else in the neighborhood gets up,” he explained.

Recently I saw that my father had a pretty serious bite on his hand. When I asked about it he said “It was my own fault, I tried to touch Merry.”

Velvet has had serious and expensive health problems since they brought the dog home from the pet shop. They have spent thousands on vet bills in the last 10 years. On a recent visit to my father’s house I asked if I could spend the night. Dad said “sure” and led me into the master bedroom. “But this is your room” I said.

He said “no it’s fine we don’t use this room.” He explained to me that the dog hurt its paw. “We couldn’t figure out at first how the dog hurt his paw until we realized the bed was too tall and it hurt Velvet to jump off the bed in the morning. The dog sleeps with Merry”, he added.  So Dad convinced Merry to sleep on an air mattress on the floor of living room so that the dog would not have to deal with their huge comfortable king size bed, thus making it available to me.

“Where do you sleep?” I asked my father.

“Oh, I sleep on the couch on my office.” This is a little wicker couch about 4 feet long in which this 80 year-old man sleeps with his feet stretched out on a card chair. He’s happy, Gar.

           

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Gary Shapiro is host of From the Bookshelf, a weekly literary program on KUSP 88.9 fm in Santa Cruz, CA. He has taught middle school for 17 years and is a minister and MFA student. He is married to the artist Robynn Smith and was once the winning answer given by Florence Henderson on a game show.
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